I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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