Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
