How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I need to align my fucking chakras
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
