y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
