My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
false alarm. still invincible.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
