There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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