Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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