I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
