its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She's the barista slut.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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