the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize