i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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