its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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