My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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