Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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