jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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