Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
