I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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