32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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