I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
