my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
