Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
