the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Randomize
