I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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