I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
