Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
