i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
