Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
