Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So much rum. So many feels.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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