New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
