Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
