Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
