Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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