Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
