How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
