its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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