you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
