I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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