I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
