Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
