i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
