Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
