people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
