I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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