did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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