Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
