i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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