your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So much rum. So many feels.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My dick has a subreddit
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
