"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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