I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize