So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
