She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
