hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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