I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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