I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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