either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
