I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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