I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Pooping to opera.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
