I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
