So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
